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while the band plays on [30 Nov 2008|05:09pm]
oh my god
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http://www.com [09 Jul 2007|05:03pm]
i never really got the point of that nonsense. why does it have to go in the front?
it seems especially useless now that everybody and their brother is connect to the internet. can't sites just be "thisismysite" and then you go to that site? it would be so much simpler. 

okay, fine, call me lazy.

but we all know it's really big backslash (similar to big oil, big buisness, big medicine [good show]) looking out for their own.
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raw [25 Apr 2007|01:43am]

what's up, bro-ham? haven't journaled in this journal in a long-ass time.

i need to sleep. more talking tomorrow (if ) when i remember.

there will be a lot more in  16 days, for sure, because that is when i will be in illinois again, and bored. 


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wifltbag [07 Jan 2007|10:27pm]

i don't care about mia. she's just a dumb slut.

stupidest episode ever.

and that newspaper dude. "see ya frosh."
what a fuckin dick. but ellie, she's worse. she's pathetic.

horrible characterization. horrible dialouge. horrible acting. horrible everything.

but i'm not an addict.

silly silly bullshit

what next, degrassi fight club?

wait a minute. it makes sense. didn't taking back sunday write this episode? maybe? please?

oh my god. he has a bloody nose. that means he's on COKE.

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staying out of yams [02 Jan 2007|05:52pm]
[ mood | cadaverous ]

final.ly. those gauche thoughts have resovled to abate into the deeper crevices of my brain. congeal, if you will. assuming my morbid ponderings are silver fire liquid, of course. always, of course.

recently i've rediscovered christopher columbus, navigator and maritime explorer. that man had the britches to circumnavigate several hemispheres BEFORE plundering aztec wealth became passe. a footnote of a footnote in the GREAT  BIG  BOOK  OF  SHIT? methinks not. perhaps, though, it should be mentioned this brave lad coined the term "cannibal". did i mention i'm pro-life? yeah, i'm against letting those loathsome cannibals getting their bloody mits all over my pristine flesh.

come on now, i need to smarten this blog up. enough of those borderline-sociopathic ramblings. i need to be talking microeconomics and twentieth century german existentialism and ancient sumarian military strategeries (thank preziebush for that word) and about verbose chapters of the bible (the one where they died?).

speaking of which, that infidal saddam hussein was murdered today. execution-style.

funny. saddam was a sunni. and sunnis have the majority in iraq. not the shi'a. his authoritarian style would have made more sense if it were the other way around. like how the united states forced it to be, with a shi'a prezie picking out the curtain pattern for the new iraqi congressional house. and believe me, that damnable jimmy carter had something to say about the way it was built. him and his habbitate for humanity helping the poor (iraqi) people afford their first house (of democracy). that's just the way those things go, i guess. as the world turns...

i wonder if he'll be excarnated. not jimmy carter, i'm talking about saddam. christopher columbus was. for those not in the know, excarnation is where they take all the flesh off after death (damn cannibals), leaving just the bones. native americans did it in prehistoric ages. funny. today was also the memorial for the battle of wonded knee.

EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED AND NOTHING IS MYSTERIOUS THANKS TO FUCKING WIKIPEDIA. assuming, of course (of course), some punk with an attitude problem didn't rampage through the excarnation page on wiki-wiki-wiki-pedia, yo. the kids wil grow up to be assholes.

i (choice organ) the pAper chAse.

So I’ll cut you all open.
I'll see what’s inside you
Or what’s missing.
While this virgin,
Your daughter,
Skirt down in the altar-
She don’t owe you a God damn thing,
'Cause she’s gorgeous.
I’ll take her to
The house by the lake,
Where I'll write her a song.
While you fat pigs with call-girls:
They dance in the ballrooms
Shaking their wallets at God.
And the notes fill the pages
As I scramble to paste up
My bleeding heart.
And this sick song moves on,
If you’re lucky lifelong,
You can sing a part.
As it falls apart.

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South Dakota v. Illinois (Round 1) [17 Dec 2006|10:09pm]

South Dakota                  Illinois
flat                                     hilly
rural                                  urban
vermillion(10k)               chicago(5mil)
boozin                              cruzin
hypemachine                  bearshare
all my shit                        worn n torn memory pieces
roomie & friends             various post-high school associates
bumming                         working
testandhomework          mindlessness
tv                                        books
the price is right              library
partying                            respectible nights
$3 movies                        $9 movies
cafeteria food                  mom's food
vodka                                hot chocolate

southdakota > illinois

i'm sad

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mixed emotions [28 Oct 2006|09:32pm]
1100PM - the ju crew rolls into the jungle juice party

???????? - excessive amounts of jungle juice is consumed and lucky strikes smoked

0100AM - i'm talking to this sober guy outside, while i'm plastered out of my mind

0200AM - he leaves to walk someone back to the ju, i go inside to the smoke room to look for my roommate

0205AM - the cops come

???????? - we shut all the lights off and sit in a forced silence [everybody SHUT THE FUCK UP], all the while i'm thinking parallel thoughts to anne frank and trying not to burst out laughing

301AM - i'm sitting in a cop car for underage consumption, alcohol (admit) .10%

i now owe the city of vermillion 150 dollars.

ohhhhh god.
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and they said the year that radio died, it was in 1985 [26 Oct 2006|06:07pm]

and we got sooooo fuckkkked uppppp

tune in
make out
break up
new york city speeeed
come on
get in
hang on
new york city speeeed
make out
get up
and i won't let you

been busy recently. college has really been kicking my ass and i've been schwasted more times than i can honestly remember.

but halloween is soon approaching, and i have to get myself together and not be the drunkest girl at the party. for once.

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bitches [22 Sep 2006|02:13pm]

kinda bored. not gonna lie. need to find a job or some source of steady income. it's raining out. a party tonight. don't do drugs. i'm so antifun.

so i was raving mad and this braving lad and i started talking and walking and smoking and joking in the rain and i'm jane but he's brad and then chav because we were supposed to eat but he made for deceit and decided to skip with the rain going drip drip drip and i don't have a phone so i just went home. 

i hate liars.

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[21 Sep 2006|08:58pm]
today instead of being uber drepressed i met some new people.

one was called brad and he reminds me of chauny from back home if chauny had been raised on a reservation all his life.

another was called will and he told me that i smoke the cigarettes of the devil because they're unfiltered and filled with tar and not nicotine.

i ate three apples yesterday and two today. there's still time though, i can match it
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and rock, it's a lonely world [20 Sep 2006|12:32am]

i guess i've been depressed lately. one of those insanely random depressions that spring out of nowhere. i feel dirty again. smoking a pack a day. excessive amounts of time listening to the not-ipod. and ummm shuffling my feet along because i'm supposed to. my roommate thinks i'm fucking insane. i don't blame her. usually i try to wait until i'm wasted to act in my crazy moods because it's passable then, but recently i've just been acting out in these self-destructive little pityfests that escalde into something much much worse.

i've got a math test tomorrow. i'll be the first to admit that i'm fucking retarded at math. but do i study? no. i'm bitching in this stupid little journal. it would make more sense if people actually read this thing. so now it's like i'm talking to my fucking self.

but trust me, i'm quite alone. sitting atop my brand new rocking throne.
what's it made of?
oh, okay.

rock out
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[13 Sep 2006|12:38pm]

anarchy chris taught me how to make a mohawk, so we mohawked together.
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oh my [09 Sep 2006|03:45pm]
all the black kids just came back to the ju from football practice. you could hear them from two blocks down. they are fucking hilarious.

did i mention i'm a ju? like jew, except ju because it's short for julian (hall). which is where i live now. instead of at home.

ju is the ghetto-hall. it's awesome. i love it.

ha ha. 

not really.
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lesssssss get dunk [06 Sep 2006|08:59pm]
[ mood | quixotic ]

i mean

okay. so. i've been a little whiny bitch recently and stuffffff. but i've been cooped up in this room for way too long so i went outside today and i heard music. so i walked over to the music and it was a concert and they had free pizza, and i hadn't eaten in a while because i have ten dollars to my name until christmas (or until i get a job). but it was a concert for the democratic club at my school. so i joined and mingled and met some new fantastic stranger-friends and one of them was called anarchy cris and one was called kristen and the other was called timm (that's not me being dislectic, he spells with two m's) and we smoked for a while.

and then anarchy cris said he wanted to get drunk on a wednesday night so we got drunk.

so i'm drunks.

and now i get to write a paper about spanish and dutch imperialism in south america and the carribean.

oh. and i'm drinking about changing my major. 

thinking. drinking. i am.

Your romantic rights are all that you got
Push them down son it's more than just lip
C'mon girls I know you know what you want
C'mon, C'mon now and give them all shhhhh
You're beating walls now you just won't quit
You play with shapes but they just won't fit
I know you love me you don't know what you like
You're watching TV I stay up all night

I don't need you
I want you [2x]

South Carolina kid is heating things up
His wounds are bleeding and we're filling the cup
This game will save us if we don't die young
C'mon, c'mon now yea have some fun

Come here baby I love your company
We could do it and start a family
She was living alone unhappily
We could do it, it's right romantically [3x]

I don't need you
I want you [6x]

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that thing [04 Sep 2006|08:44pm]
i never do these sorts of things but i'm broke and bored so i will. but i won't tag anyone. because i only know one person on here, and she tagged me. whatever that means.

Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.
Johnny Carson (1925 - 2005)

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
Terry Pratchett

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964)

There was a definite process by which one made people into friends, and it involved talking to them and listening to them for hours at a time.
Rebecca West (1892 - 1983)

Success is meaningless if you can't sleep at night because of harsh things said, petty secrets sharpened against hard and stony regret, just waiting to be plunged into the soft underbelly of a 'friendship.'
Margaret Cho
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no food [04 Sep 2006|08:36pm]
so actually they didn't have food because it's laborday weekend, and i forgot that it was.

i'm feeling pretty down right now. 

i just went ballistic on my hair with a pair of scissors and low inhibitions.

the result: shittiest haircut i've ever had in my life. but i'm going to have to roll with it. the only alternative would be to shave my head, and i'm not that big of a dyke to do something like that. dear lord no.
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like omg [03 Sep 2006|10:03pm]
the weekend is almost over and do you know what that means?


i've been living off gum, water, and motts applesauce for the past three days because the cafeteria/canteen has been closed and i didn't realize it until ten minutes before it closed, and i only had money for applesauce.

true story.
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vermillion isn't too bad, right? [29 Aug 2006|10:34pm]
who the fuck am i trying to kid?

i'm kind of lonely. desperate.

this isn't turning out at all how i had hoped. 

i feel out of place. more so than usual.

i need to dye my hair bright dark red [makes sense in my mind]. that would solve all of my weepy problems.
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i have a new AIM screen name. [28 Aug 2006|12:11am]

why? well, it's sort of like... taking out the trash. getting rid of all the people who (i) don't really care (about) any more.


inmaidavale <--this would be it

add me. or i'll add you*.



ps: so i guess i'm living in vermillion, south dakota for the next four years. bummer or what-have-you.

i will miss... everybody and nobody.

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we watched my grandpa slip into a grey sleepless coma tonight [21 Aug 2006|12:04am]
he died at 838PM, at his house, in his bed. he could have died as a marine on iwo jima in the second world war, but he didn't. instead he came home to the USA and married and had four kids, and those kids had kids, and one of them was me. 

i'm suddenly kicking myself for not asking him about the war or the great depression or television or about his parents. suddenly there's so much i'm realizing i don't know and now never will.

i'll never know the person that he was and he'll never know the person that i will be. he'll never find out that i'm bi, that i'm going to dye my hair again, that i'm going to stop starving myself. if i write a book he'll never know that it's dedicated to him and gottfried leibniz simultaniously.

maybe i'm overreacting. this is the first "loss" i've conciously encountered (my dad's mother died when i was two).

but actually now i'm paranoid as fuck because he wanted to be cremated (and he is). but i've heard stories about morticians totally fucking around with the ashes and everything.

i hope it goes all right. i miss him.
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